Playing god
by sesshomaru4ever
Summary: The loss of her friends in the final battle leaves Kagome to face her worst nightmares alone. When she blacks out and finds the completed jewel in her grasp she accidently makes a wish that will unknowinly send her into a battle she cannot fight alone
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I decided to start out fresh and new. My other fan fics are not up to par with what I wanted to express in my writing. I welcome comments and suggestions but I will not read flames so don't bother sending them. Read and review!**

He had it, and I needed it. Desperately.

There were things in this world that had no reasoning behind them, no rational explanation to why they existed. Like us humans; we destroy so much and yet give almost little to nothing in return. If god created something in his image it would be the farthest thing from us as possible. The closest thing to god is him… a youkai of incredible power, one of many but yet so few in numbers compared to us. However these types of demons are cold, calculating, and malicious. Why shouldn't they play god? They have the power and the will to dominate all life… well maybe not all life. However he now has it, the power to do whatever he wished and we could do nothing to stop him. I could do nothing to stop him…

I remember the battle so well. I watched my friends be cut down before my eyes. I watched my innocent baby fox demon bleed his life blood at my feet, his fading green eyes begging for the pain to stop however I could do nothing to help him. I was weak, powerless. Inuyasha… He was so rash yet so brave my heart hurt the most when he fell last, also at my feet for he was the one that protected me against the death blow of his attack.

_His_ attack… There was nothing that I wanted more then to strike down my opponent, make him suffer a hundred times fold for what he did to my friends… But he had it… And now _I _needed it. Desperately.

Something inside me snapped. I felt the weight of the world fall on my shoulder and then the world became so dark. I don't know of the events that passed beyond that point and I never really cared. I awoke on the ground covered in blood and the shining jewel clenched painfully in my hand. The bodies of my companions had been moved, taken or quite possibly eaten by some animal for I was unsure how long I slept for. I was sorrow.

I cried then; cried for my fallen companions because I knew I could never bring them back. No matter how much I loved them I could not bring this sorrow on the thousands of lives that would be lost if I were to make my selfish wish upon the jewel. I was endurance.

Something happened then that I did not expect. The jewel glowed with a frightening light that soothed my soul and calmed my fears. I was not alone. I could endure this burden for as long as I needed for I had each and every loving memory of my beloved companions. Yet even the ache of losing my family could not be fully extinguished even by the healing light of the sacred jewel.

I wandered the woods for hours, possibly even days. Time, hunger, and exhaustion meant nothing to me. I felt that I could no longer feel. I knew it was only time before a demon sought out the complete sacred jewel and I was prepared for it. I was preservation.

I don't know what caused this drastic change in my personality but I welcomed it. I was so strong yet felt almost nothing. I faintly realized that the sun was coming over the horizon yet the blood red colour disturbed me more then it should.

I was once again on my hands and knees. I could not stop the tears from falling. My soul… it was so shattered that I wasn't sure how the jewel shone with such purity. I felt tainted, defiled. The only thing that kept me going was my will to live not only for myself but for every person who suffered for the sake of this cursed jewel. The jewel seemed to have accepted me and protected me with its glowing light but like the embrace of a loving mother it could only protect me for my deepest level of sorrow. I am despair.

I tried to crush it in my hands but I knew it would do no good. And then I felt it; a strong demonic aura coming my way. The jewel was bound to attract some form of attention and I did not know if I could fend off whatever it was. However I wasn't scared anymore. There was no one left to protect me but myself and I would be damned if I let another person get a hold of this jewel. There were so many sacrifices made to obtain this… I would never let it go.

I stood up to face this familiar aura and it was then that it hit me. He didn't die in the battle however I wasn't surprised… And he was coming to claim the only thing that I had left. However he was going to have to pry it from my cold dead hands.

"Miko… You are holding something that does not belong to you yet how you acquired it is beyond me" he whispered, his mouth only inches from my ear. I jumped back and my barrier was up, he smirked at this "You let the deaths of your friends be in vain Kagome. They died to save you and for what? You think that barrier will keep me out? You are so weak."

My barrier was shattered in a ray of rainbow crystals and I felt my resolve faulter. He was right. Those amber eyes made my heart hurt. They were so like his… How I wished for his power. I wanted to be strong and powerful so I could prevent something like this from happening again.

Before I could act the world started to shake. The ground beneath me shook with such intensity that everything was a blur. The jewel shone with such animosity that it was then that I realized my mistake. I gasped in horror as my wish came true. I watched at the normally calm and collected man who stood before me was brought to his knees. A light of such brightness shone from him and was thrown at me. It entered my body with such force that I was knocked over onto my back.

My wish had come true. The once powerful demon was now brought to his knees. His power was now mine. Sesshomaru, the lord of the western lands was now human.


	2. Chapter 2

Every sound made my head hurt more painfully, and there was so much of it! The birds who were chirping their daily tune seemed to be doing it directly in my ear and even the small sound of the wind felt like a hurricane in my head. I faintly realized that my face was against something soft and furry but I refused to open my eyes to the onslaught of light that would surely make this headache worse.

It seemed that I didn't have much of a choice in the matter however because I soon found my face shoved unceremoniously deeper into the softness and a hard weight was sitting now on my back.

"If you do not wish to suffer immensely you will undo what you have done this past night." I heard him speak and yet the voice seemed to calm my headache. I sighed in relief and relaxed under him. It was like silk passing in one ear and out the other. I faintly recognized the words that he was saying and they did not chain together in my head to form a sentence.

I was then roughly brought to my feet by my hair and my face slammed into what I can only guess was the rock wall of a cave. I seen white tendrils of hair fan around me and it was then that I realized who was with me.

The memories flashed through my mind faster then they should have, making my once again pounding headache worse then before. I heard the echo of my head hitting the wall a hundred times louder then it should have been and the blood that now dripped from my head smelled like an ocean of it was sitting at my feet. I repressed the urge to vomit when my restraints on my head were gone and I fell unceremoniously onto the ground.

"Pathetic, you have made a immense mistake. A human will never be able to master the power of one as great as I" This was followed by a swift kick to my ribs "There is no use in trying to fight me; it appears that the transfer of powers is both ways. I could purify you before you moved"

I looked up in fear. I no longer had my sacred powers… The jewel I knew was now as dark as the night sky for the wish I made was the worst one I could have chose and now I could do nothing to purify it. I quickly stood up to face him. "This is all your fault" I said as something inside me grew dark and my body began to shake "If you would have helped in the final battle then none of this would have happened!"

"Woman get a hold of yourself. If you transform in here I will have no choice but to purify you!" I felt proud for a moment because it appeared that I was not the only one struggling with the emotions or lack there of in my new species. I began to calm down at the sound of his voice once more and I leisurely took a seat on the nearest thing I could find.

I finally had a chance to see him. This startled me more then the birds that were chirping in my ear which now seemed impossible for we were clearly inside and possibly far underground for there was no windows to look through. His hair was still as white as the moon however his markings on his face and hands were gone. His glare of hate was so evident in his new human body and it frightened me. I knew where we were and I prayed to whatever god that could hear me that I got out as soon as possible. He… Inuyasha… Told me once about the customary way that the Inu lord dealt with hostages and I refused to be one of those.

He watched me calculate him for only a moment. "This Sesshomaru will ask you one more time before I take matters into my own hands. How did you steal my powers?"

I looked at him blankly. Did he not know of the power of the jewel? Wasn't that what he sought when he found me so helplessly wandering the woods? I stood on my feet glaring up at him. "Let's just say that whatever it was is unable to return them to you at the moment"

"Then you are referring to this" my eyes widened in horror as he held up the tainted jewel. It was attached to a row of sacred beads and glowed with such animosity that it made my skin crawl. "It appears I was correct in assuming you did not have the power to do what you did." I could feel my own purification barrier snap and crackle at my skin and I winced.

"You could master my power about as easily as I mastered yours" I seen his eyebrow raise and I smirked. His damaged ego was all I could do to him at this moment.

"What was that word that you used on the half-demon?" I watched him tap his cheek in concentration and wondered why it mattered "Ah yes, I believe it was 'sit'" I felt my body be shoved down of its own accord onto the hard wooden chair. His eyes lit up with triumph and I shook with furry. The purple beads of subjugation were wrapped around my throat. "It seems I know more about this area then you woman." He looked at me curiously then decided on something "I wonder… Woman, stand and spin in a circle."

"Fuck you" I spat out at him, the beads were glowing angrily as I refused to submit to its will. I saw him smile for the first time and it frightened me more then his ability to purify me. "I would never listen to a _human_ such as you" I saw these words hit him and noticed him tense ever so slightly.

His footsteps were still so light and soundless on the ground as he approached me even to my new youkai ears. In his hands was the tainted jewel. "Wait, don't come near me with that" I tried to back away from him however the beads held me in place. I started to panic "I don't know what damage I will inflict on it if it touches me! Please Sesshomaru-sama!" My words didn't faze him as he approached me with the dark object.

"My theory" He said as he picked up the beads around my neck, his touch lingering on my throat long enough to send a shiver down my spine. "is that this somehow increases power correct?" The jewel made contact with the beads and when they connected it appeared to have done nothing. Those golden eyes bore right into mine as he touched my cheek almost tenderly before raising his hand and slapping me hard.

It echoed so loudly across the room that it felt like the whole country could have heard but decided to leave me to my fate. "You are not allowed move or talk unless instructed to do so, do you understand what this Sesshomaru is telling you? Nod your head in response"

So many vile words were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't respond. My head obediently nodded up and down in response to his words. I hated myself for being so weak. The jewel glowed menacingly above my breast and merged with my, or now his, sacred powers to keep me bonded.

"Very good, I think I like it better when you are silent." He said, his eyes roaming my body. "Do you know why I went to find you in the forest Miko? Answer me"

"Screw you" I smiled at my victory, it was an answer after all. I felt his hand hit my cheek hard enough to send me flying to the floor. I gasped in pain and looked up at him accusingly.

"Not the answer I was looking for Miko, however your words are almost accurate. Take off your shirt." My hands were slowly beginning to pull it up, bearing my now muscled stomach. No! I wasn't showing him my body. My hands stopped and I smiled in triumph. "Take of your shirt!" His voice echoed and boomed around me and my shirt was now in shreds at my feet.

He was behind me tracing his markings that were now at my hips. He growled in frustration as his nails dug in harshly. "You will suffer the humiliation you have brought upon me a hundred fold for what you have done." His eyes shone with such malice that the jewel shone a little darker in the small stone room.


	3. Chapter 3

The forest seemed to be getting denser the father we went. The night was absent of the moon but my eyes could see clearly in the dark. I cursed the man that guided me. His steps never faltered on the uneven ground. I was envious and furious at the same time. My shirt had been abandoned in the shreds back at the cave but he didn't seem to take a second glance at me. As if he wasn't interested in anything but himself. His show of control was just that.

I knew he had serious issues when he humiliated me just for control. His taunting gaze made me more furious then him making me tear my shirt into shreds however I knew he was not done with me. The jewel now hung around his neck _glowing_ an amber color, not pure but not tainted at the same time… How bizarre.

I wrapped my tail more snugly around my body. The fluffy thing my head was on in the cave happened to be a part of me. As long as Sesshomaru walked ahead of me he couldn't see my skirt lifted to accommodate my new appendage. Not that he would care.

I knew the moment he touched me in the cave that something was off. His masculinity and sexuality were not something that he flaunted. He was in about as much control as I was and this thought pleased me. His anger had driven him to do things he wouldn't have done normally. Welcome to humanity you dick.

"Where are we going?"

"If this Sesshomaru didn't answer you the first twenty-three times I will not do so now."

I pouted and picked up my step so I was walking side by side with him. "Is it necessary for me to be tied up? It's not like I have anywhere to go…" I refused to think anymore on the subject

"I will not let some useless woman wonder around with my birthright and risk getting killed before I can get it back."

"I told you Sesshomaru, you can't reverse this!"

It was quite amazing this power that he had. I saw it almost in slow motion. I watched his hair turn with his body as he lunged for me. I seen the anger in his eyes as he reached for my throat but I was to fast. I jumped quickly to one side and was behind him but my body wasn't used to the speed. I didn't know that the force of the wind could throw me stumbling towards the ground. I felt his weight on my stomach and the sharp point of his sword at my throat before I could exhale the air that was being knocked from my lungs.

"Address me with respect incarnation. I have spared your life even though you have done me a great insult."

I snarled. "You only protect me in order to get what you want. If I returned these powers to you so easy I would be dead before I could blink! You think I have learned nothing after traveling with Inuyasha? Do not treat me like a fool Sesshomaru-_sama."_

His smirk was not what I was expecting. I wanted to see him angry, _see_ his frustration. I was surprised at how much I was counting on it. I wanted to see him hurt for what injustices life has thrown at me. It wasn't enough that this man who looked so much like the half-demon I lost was staring me in the face. "This Sesshomaru was right then… You do know how to reverse this." I snapped my gaping mouth shut. Fuck. I did say that didn't I?

"I n-never said that" His lips were getting closer to mine and his gaze was getting darker. His silver hair fell over his shoulders and fluttered against my cheek.

"Do not lie to me Kagome. Demon or not I can still hurt you" He had both my hands above my head and even though I knew I could probably overpower him I was to concentrated on this new feeling. "I still hold power over you until this bond is separated…"

"Its…" sighing lightly I licked my bottom lip "It's not easy ok… I only heard of this happening once but it was under difference circumstances." I closed my eyes as his lips reached my neck "The gi-girls name is Ayame"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I know guys, I'm sorry I am so bad at posting fast. I'm in the middle of moving so I am a little busy. Please R&R. Another update will be soon

His body had left mine very flustered. I think it took me a good six seconds before I had realized that he had used my arousal against me. I was furious. He was already headed in the direction that would no doubt lead him toward the wolf tribe. That asshole. If he was going to play the 'I always get what I want' game then so would I. I knew that I could run at incredible speeds. Speeds that I know would take him days to catch up to if I was tied up or not. I just had a problem with the stopping part. I wouldn't need to do that for some time. As long as I distanced myself from him there was no way that he could return to his demon form. From what I was told about Ayame's condition I would have to be there.

I knew that his human senses were now as tuned as they could be however it would never match what he had and was to slow in order to catch my body before I sprinted at full speeds into the trees. I didn't look back to see the expression on his face as I took off however I can imagine that they were a sight to behold. Steering in between the trees was harder then I imagined as the wind that also forced me to lose balance had enough force to almost send me head first into the trees at speeds that I'm sure a car couldn't reach. I didn't want to see the outcome if that happened. I knew what the consequences were when a car collided with one. The roots on a tree ran so deep that the full speed of a car did little to no damage. I shivered as I narrowly missed another large tree. I decided to slow my speed. I knew I was approximately fifty kilometres from the musky scent that I now recognized as Sesshomaru. He wasn't reaching me anytime soon.

I slowed to a brisk run and then fell face-first into the ground. Cursing words that would make my former friend shiver I pulled myself from the ground. It was quite disgusting to see the stick protruding from my leg even though the pain was enough to send a startled gasp from my lips. How Inuyasha could have a hand rip through his stomach with only a flinch surprised me greatly. The pain was just as excruciating as when I was a human.

I placed both my hands on the stick that was protruding from my leg. I could tell that the bone had been shattered when the piece of wood had collided with it. I counted to three and pulled the stick out of my leg with a gut wrenching scream. The blood that spilled from my leg was a very small in comparison to the level of the wound it inflicted. I felt my leg bone shift back into place with a snap. I head my breath to keep from screaming as I felt the bone shift back into place.

Then there was another sound. My ears twitched in surprise and my head jerked towards the tress. I sniffed the air and wrinkled my nose. The smell was awful. It reminded me of back home when you walked by a particularly foul fast food restaurant dumpster. It smelled of decay. I braced myself against the tree that was closest to me and waited for the person to walk from the trees. I held my breath to keep from vomiting at the disgusting smell. I could see the figure moving in the trees. Despite the foul smell it seemed to have no problem moving as if it wasn't injured. If I hadn't recognized the metallic smell of blood when I hurt myself I wouldn't have know that this thing was in way worse condition then me.

It was then that I knew what had followed me here. I gasped in horror when I seen the glint of white through the darkness. 'It's not real' I told myself. This whole thing since the beginning was a lie. Soon I would wake up and my friends would be standing around me, worried as to why I cried out in my sleep. I closed my eyes as the scent of decay came closer. I would wake up soon… before this could get worse. Because if this was real, if for some reason the gods were cruel enough to let me suffer after everything that has happened I truly was cursed.

"You seem surprised Kagome, though I admit I am as shocked as you are. The last time I saw you, you were quite different." I repressed the urge to vomit as the white baboon inhaled the scent of my demon blood. "You must tell me how you did it. Stole the power from the great lord of the west. Quite remarkable." His voice was clearly amused however my scowl was met with a chuckle. "You don't appear happy to see me." He took a glance at my healing leg, "It also appears that you do not know how to use your powers."

"I… Killed you.." This time his laugh came out in waves of mirth. I could see the fur of the baboon shift and sway with the chuckle that escaped his mouth.

"Is that what you saw Kagome? As I recall you we not yourself." A flash of blood spattered across my vision. I shook my head. An image of Kohaku slaughtering his father came to the forefront of my mind. "Do you not remember? It was exquisite. The blood was all around you"

Why was it that this was so hard to ignore? Clearly he was goading me. He was lying through his teeth to get to me. Then why was it that I couldn't ignore his words?

"Do you not remember?" He repeated his question with a chuckle. I don't know how long he had been standing so close to me or when he even approached me. I looked past the mask to his decaying features and gasped. An image of Inuyasha looking at me in shock and horror as he fell in front of me flashed across my eyes and suddenly I was standing in the field where everything ended for me. However I now stood as a bystander.

I watched as my human version faced off with Naraku in the last battle. I watched as I shot arrow after arrow at Naraku. I thought we were so close to killing him. His body was broken and not healing because of my arrows.

It was then, as a bystander that I saw the impending doom. It was so small in the chaos that surrounded us that no one noticed the small disturbance in my aura. It crawled up my human leg. At the time I was so oblivious. I watched as it bit in hard to the flesh at my calf. I quickly ran for Inuyasha, wishing to shield him from myself. I was dangerous. I wasn't in control.

He couldn't fight me, he wouldn't. I watched as my friends fell one by one at my feet. I took a step back from my human self. I had killed them… I was the reason that they didn't wake me up to wonder why I was screaming so loudly. Tears streamed down my face as my fox kit screamed as I choked him to death. His lifeless body cuddled closely to my chest. I stumbled back out of the memory in horror. My mind was blank but at the same time running wild with accusations and guilt. I heard Naraku chuckle. "It seems we are more alike then you realized" my body began to shake as I felt something start to shove towards the surface of my sanity. It was like trying to stop a semi-truck before it was hurtled off a cliff with my bare hands. I didn't stand a chance.


End file.
